It’s kind of hard and I’m trying to figure out the right things to say to address with what I’m battling.
This battle of mental health is more difficult for me than ever. I've been so stressed with college ever since I started. I thought it would go away, but it got worse. So bad that I get stomach aches at night that causes me to sweat and not get any sleep at night. I should’ve known the signs early on, but I never paid it no attention until earlier this year.
In February of this year, I was studying for an exam and I was so stressed out about. Like how every college student is. But this was different than what I’ve dealt with. I was trying to pick up a note card to study and I felt my hands shake as I had the note card in my hand. I couldn’t even study for the rest of the night. I was so upset with myself that I cried. Why? I feel alone, feel like a failure, or feel like nothing. I didn’t know who to talk or anything.
The next month, I had a really bad stomach ache that caused me to go to the ER. And it was due to stress. But I don’t know what I was stressed about. Right then, I knew I needed to get some help.
I started going to counseling at my university. I never thought in my life that I would need counseling. I had thought about going earlier this year, but I wasn’t sure. After those two things that happened to me proves that I need it.
Going to counseling was a definite need. I was able to talk to someone about what I’m going through. I didn’t realize how many problems I have.
I began to do research on stress with college students and it’s so hard to believe how many students deal with stress. It's also hard to believe how stressful I am.
I took a test on this website: (https://www.learnpsychology.org/student-stress-anxiety-guide/). This was my score (16) and what was said: "8 or more points: Your stress level has reached a critical stage”. Now is the time to take serious steps to reduce the stressors in your life. Speak with your doctor or counselor as soon as possible, and explain your life situation to them. Ask for help!" I was so shocked by my score. I didn't think it would be so high.
The same website talks about the percentage of college stress. 20% of college students say they feel stressed "most of the time.", 10% has thoughts of suicide, 34% report feeling depressed at least at one point within the last 90 days, 13% have been diagnosed with depression, anxiety, or other mental health condition. 80% say they sometimes or often feel stressed, and about half of surveyed college students felt overwhelmed with anxiety at least once within the last 12 months. I feel like I fall in the 20%,80%, and the half surveyed.
The same website mentions what causes stress in college. The ones on the list that I stress out about the most is:
- Academic Demands and Test Anxiety
- Post-Graduate Plans
- Finances
Those three are what causes me the most stress everyday. In order from most stress to least stress. And there is more things than just college that stresses me out.
There are so many signs that says if you dealing with mental health.
I didn't pay attention to the signs early on. Such as stomach aches, sweating, hands shaking, constant worrying, practically everything in this picture. Why? I thought it was nothing and that it would go away. It wasn't till earlier this year when it got worse. I knew that I needed help. I started going to counseling and it has been helping me lot.
I would try to keep a positive mind, but I can't. I would try everything to cheer myself up and nothing works. Listening to music, going for walks, watching a funny video. Nothing would work. I would cry at night sometimes because I felt like crap/overwhelmed with college, my family, my friends, everything. I couldn't understand why I would feel this way. I would think it was because I wasn't doing enough in my life or I have to keep trying to prove people who I am. I still don't understand to this day.
I know that this is a long battle that I'm facing. I haven't shared it with a lot of people because I don't want to seem weird and I don't want people to pity me. You may see me walk around with a smile on my face and think I’m okay, but deep down I’m not.
I learned how other people are dealing with what I'm dealing with and that I'm not alone in this world. I learned how talking about it helps a great deal.
This video opened my eyes and it made me feel like I'm not the only person struggling: (If video doesn't play there is a link below it)
Never ignore the signs of mental health. Talk to someone about what you are feeling/dealing with. You are not alone. We all have our struggles. I learned how it’s okay to not be okay. Talking to someone helps a lot whether it’s a friend, co-worker, family, or even a councilor. Because you can release and express how you are feeling. Also, this is something I’m doing now: I got a notebook for myself and I write down my thoughts on how I‘m feeling. It’s for my eyes only. I don’t share it with anyone. That’s helps too. There are several things to do to relax and treat mental health.
To those who are struggling with what I'm dealing with, I feel you. I know how hard it is. I know the constant struggles you have to face.